My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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