Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize