Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
