Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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