so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
