I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
