that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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