she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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