People with herpes should wear stickers.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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