Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
