im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I fill condoms, not promises.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
