Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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