Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
