I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize