I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
