I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
She's the barista slut.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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