there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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