drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
