Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
