fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
