FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Randomize