You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
