bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Randomize
