I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
