Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
