I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
