Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize