with your own penis?
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He shit in the fireplace
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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