Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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