we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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