We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
