Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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