Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize