she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Randomize
