You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
