I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
