Michael Bay diarrhea
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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