Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
