shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
did i just pee glitter
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