so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
