question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
