they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
