I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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