are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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