help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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