I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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