I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
