are you still at the devil's house?
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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