I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
