yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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