Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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