I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
