He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
mondays should just be called national damage control day
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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