We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
