Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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