I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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