Soap is not a condiment
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
