So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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